Stress in Children
The stress response is a normal reaction that prepares the body to adapt to changes and challenges effectively.
Positive stress is beneficial; children need to experience this for healthy development. The temporary surge of adrenaline and cortisol of positive stress can motivate kids to reach a goal and help them focus on an event such as getting ready in the morning to make the school bus on time, practicing for an audition, or training for try-outs. It can increase alertness which helps children prepare and manage changes such as going on vacation, starting a new camp or school year, or going to a birthday party. Once they face the challenge, the stress is over. This is one of the ways in which children develop positive self-esteem and a sense of self-efficacy.
When kids have to face more difficult life events or experience trauma, then stress can be harmful. Adversity that is sudden, serious, intense, or on-going can overwhelm a child’s ability to cope. Stress can also be harmful when kids don’t have parental support. The surge of stress hormones is not temporary but continually elevated. There is no doubt that chronic and traumatic stress can affect kids’ mental and physical health, even into future adulthood.
When encountering stressors, parents can help their children prepare for what they will be facing, talk them through the situation, and focus on the positive aspects. When possible, allow children to have a say in the plans or offer a choice. It is also important that parents listen to their children, hear what they think and feel, and validate their feelings. Rather than telling your children not to worry, let them know that you agree that something may seem difficult or scary or boring, but you have confidence in them and know they will be able to handle it, and you will be there for them if needed.
What parents can do:
- The best way to offset stress is to make sure your child feels loved, cared for, and safe. Be there for them and let them know that you love them and accept them.
- Routines and boundaries help with feeling safe and provide predictability and stability, especially during times of increased stress
- Have a calming and relaxing bedtime routine and ensure that school aged children (6-12 years old) get 10-12 hours of sleep.
- Play with your children, ideally non-electronic games, read together, bake together.
- Go for a walk outside or to the park- exercise and spending time in nature can help with stress
- Watch for the negative influences of electronics use, avoid social media
- Journaling, writing stories, writing about feelings, and writing about positive things can be helpful, such as with a gratitude journal
- Teach coping skills such as deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness. See our May Mental Health Calendar for more information on this
- Make sure your child’s school/ teachers are aware of any stress which may interfere with their behavior or performance
- Model healthy ways to cope with stress, such as meditation and positive self talk.
- Call your child’s doctor or a therapist if you have any concerns about your child’s mental health.
Parents can’t prevent their children from feeling stress. But they can help their children learn to cope and use positive stress in a healthy way.
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